Today some deep emotional pain emerged… pain that I have carried most of my life. I sat down on a bench, that I had sat on in 1986. Today I sat there, sat with and in the pain and honored it as it unexpectedly came like a gentle silent wave of long forgotten grief. I started my healing journey at very young age, but these particular tears I had never cried…. I dived into the abyss of deep emotional pain, that I had carried from early childhood. Things that I had forgiven and embraced for what they were years ago and yet these particular tears I honored today. My life was played out in my inner vision and I felt the depth of that deep pain of my inner child of solitude, of being “forsaken” and abandoned. I understood that Garmisch where I live now had been my refuge. A place I returned to again and again. First time I came was in 1983 as an au pair girl with 17. After that year I returned to Denmark my native country, but couldn´t bare to stay there. I wanted out, I wanted away… but wasn´t allowed to go there again… i.e. I didn´t get the financial support by my parents to go there and instead was suggested to go to the UK to improve my english. So what did I do…. main thing out and away from the pain. I went to the UK, found a job, got enough money for a flight to Munich and after a tumultous arrival and dispute with a boyfriend got back to Garmisch, where I found a job. I stayed there a month or so, found a job, until I got an unexpected letter from Denmark with an offer of an apprenticeship in Denmark, which had been sent to my parents. I got back to Denmark and worked in the marketing arena (of manipulation for seven years), but felt drawn to leave Denmark again. I stopped working voluntarily and started a self study of spirituality and healing arts, apx. 4 years, which took me thru all the world religions, philosophy, the paranormal psychic spiritual realm and everything in between. Was one year in Italy and got back to Denmark, heart broken. I married and got heartbroken again and divorced. I needed out again, so I went to Spain in 1999 and decided to leave Denmark for good and have been abroad since then. However in year 2000 I met someone in Spain who lived in Garmisch and so after 15 years my path led me back to Garmisch again. I married, moved away from Garmisch and lived in another city for 7 years, got my amazing children, got heart broken again and divorced and after 2 years as a single parent my soul urged me to move back to Garmisch again, which happened in the most miraculous way. Without money or means I opened myself to receive what I needed to make it happen, as my soul had told me I should not worry about how, when and what, but just say yes. Within apx 10 days I had found an apartment and also had money coming to me from unexpected sides to make it all possible. I was in awe. In the meantime around the pregnancy of my daughter I experienced the awakening to my soul´s essence after many years of dedicated inner work, letting go and forgiving, practising and implementating the “inner teachings”, which I was given by my guides…. around 2007 experienced the dark night of the soul thru which I was stripped down to the core, till there was nothing to hold on to. All my beliefs, all the spiritual teachings (I had attended various workshops and had attended a 2 year mystery school eduction to become a facilitator and healer, the whole world as I knew it got tugged away like a carpet from under my feet. I am writing this so detailed to exemplify, that even if we have done a lot of inner work and believe we are all “done”, there might still be deep layers, which we have still not been able to reach… as the deeper layers are not accessible until those above them have been removed and until we have gained certain spiritual insights and understood the patterns and beliefs systems, that has ruled our life. After my awakening I have lived in almost non-stop bliss.. though I have been challenged with my daughters auto-immune disorder and a long period of financial challenges too, which is changing now thank you to my I Am Presence. And yet as I sat on that bench today this old pain emerged and washed over me and tears of grace closed the wound. I, being a neutral witness, simply honored and embraced it and gave thanks to my body for having held it so long and gave it my farewell. Those of you that read my posts of lately about my return to my native country will see the bigger picture and how wonderful things surface when we are ready. On my visit to Denmark of lately I visited the 3 houses, where we grew up in our childhood. It was an opening to reach deeper layers and my sister and I also healed our relationship and now feel the deep connection between our souls, which we never truly felt until now. This is the fruition of years of years of devoted work to heal and transform childhood wounds as well as collective wounds, that have ruled my life. I am deeply grateful for every tear…. and though I feel the pain…. I am not “down”, because I am able to feel the “high” of the bliss, that carries the pain, because deep deep down in our innermost core, there is a foundation of love, that is eternal… it is that, which keeps us rising again and again when we have fallen, when we have been left broken and wounded.. it is that which calls us to keep going when we have no more strength to go on, when we have no more hope or faith left. It is that which can never be lost, that which never stops loving us unconditionally, no matter how much we try to judge and put ourself down, it is that which will never abandon you, even if you have abandoned yourself. It is that which will never give up on you, even if you do. Love is who and what you are… eternally… this is what I experienced in my night of self realisation, on the night of my awakening years back and the more we heal and allow all the wounds to emerge and be released the more it can take us over and become our reality and radiate from every cell and atom of our being. There are no abuser, no victim, we have joined this cosmic play to transcend the illusion of separation, which has been the foundation of thousands of years of separation from God (within), throughout the era of the piscean age. There is no one to blame, we volunteered for this experience to learn and understand ourself as eternal beings of light and love made in the image of God… to heal the collective wound of separation to ensure the promised land, the return and rising of Lemuria and the reemergence of the goddess. Now I can finally return home to my native beloved home Denmark. ~ Grace Solaris – www.heart-of-lemuria.com